I'll Admit It..

...I fell asleep at the wheel.

I know that its has been a while since I have posted a Spiritual Sunday post. One of the reasons for that is because I have strayed from the path that the Lord has set for me. I was so frustrated with how I thought that my life should be going, and it wasn't, that I wanted to take things into my own hands...again. Well, during this time I had two drinks, didn't get drunk, but still had two drinks. Now to clear this up, I didn't feel that it was that big of a deal. But it was one of those things that I had to ask myself 'Why?'. Why was I doing this. As you know if you follow my blog, I don't think that there is anything wrong with having a drink of wine--as long as you are not doing it with the intentions of getting drunk.

I went out to the club. Ok, so I've been feeling this way about the club for a while. It's lost its luster to me. I went out and I was totally annoyed. I found myself wondering, once again, 'Why?' Now, I think that I have started the transition to where I think I'm too old for it. The club atmosphere just doesn't excite me anymore. Sweaty dudes, grinding on me that are slightly inebriated...I'll pass. Now, lounges with a cool, laid back atmosphere, I can do. It just makes me wonder, other than a club what other fun social activities are there for the grown  people to do? Have any ideas, please let me know.

 I reverted back to cussing on four separate occasions. I went years without cursing. Seriously, years.

Dating...and other things. Every woman has their picture perfect list of what they want their man to be. Well, I think that in this area, I started to settle. I was perfectly happy content fine with being single. But there is only so much that a woman can take. I feel like even though I prayed and have been celibate for almost two years now, the Lord still hasn't heard me or sent me my husbabd. You see everyone out there meeting their man and starting their picture perfect life, but in reality its not all that. I asked myself do I want the illusion or do I want whats real. Real Love. Real Relationship. Real Life.

I got caught up and started making rash decisions. Which brings me to this...(tires screeching) HALT! Not stop! Its an acronym for:

H(ungry)
A(ngry)
L(onley)
T(ired)

Funny how the Lord puts things in your life at just the right time. So, after all of this stuff happened, going out, drinking, dating, I tuned into TD Jakes and after he went off there was another program coming on. The man started talking about you may be in a place for a reason. Its your Gerar. He stated that you shouldn't make decisions if you are hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. All of these decisions were made when I had one of these emotions running through me. These emotions and decisions that I made threw me off my path.

So here I am driving through this valley, which is my Gerar, and I fall asleep at the wheel. As I drift off the road, I hear a voice that says HALT! Its God and he takes control of the wheel and steers me back on the path that I was supposed to be on.