Crushes...

Over my lifetime, I have had sooooo many crushes. I mean, the whole lazy-eye-overweight thing didn't help me when I was younger. Now, I rarely have crushes...until recently with the whole celibacy thing going on.

I wouldn't call it lust, but I would  call it being a woman. I am just attracted to men, and good looking ones hat. Well, you know when you haven't really had a choice in men lately, you find yourself attracted, crushing on, looking at men you normally wouldn't. Every time I see someone from my past and they are a looking a hot mess or have fifty-leven (50-11 in my mothers voice) kids, I always think, dodged that bullet.

This last crush that I had,was a weird one. I will try to be as specific as possible, without putting this person on front street. It doesn't matter how we met or where we met, but for the most part we had have a friendship. I think that when my mind went to a place that it shouldn't have, I got a little scared and backed off a bit. Fast forward a couple of months and I get to spend a good amount of time with him and I realize, what the devil was I thinking. There were the constant references to sex (with other people) that made me uncomfortable. Then it was the whole thing about speaking about him speaking about a woman that he was with or talking to at this time so openly and freely. I thought to myself, how could I be attracted to person who equates one of his best talents as being...giving a woman...you get my drift. Please tell me that I do not have to spell it out. Perhaps it was those things that attracted him to me in the first place, physically, honestly sexually, too.

Crushes are a dangerous thing! I would never tell this person how I felt about them. Wait, how I thought that I felt about them. Crushes can cloud your vision, but sometimes you can see a person for exactly who they are.

Alright, this Hallmark Movie: How to Fall in Love got me feeling some type of way...maybe I need a matchmaker and stop this online dating bull crap.