Hopelessly Single.

It all started one Sunday. Actually the Sunday after my 31^st birthday. I was invited to another  31^st birthday dinner. Since I’m the type of friend that cannot say no, I decided to go. I called one of my other friends to see if she would be going and she said, yeah, I’ll try to go. The day of the dinner comes and she calls and asks if I was bringing a date. My normal response ‘No, I wasn’t planning too’. Oh because I was going to ask [Jim] if he wanted to come. Fast forward to dinner and I am sitting in between two couples and two children at a dimly-lit, overpriced restaurant. Great.

As the night went on, it wasn’t horribly bad, but I felt awkward. Not the type of awkward that you feel when you at a party where you don’t know anyone, but the awkward feeling when your singleness is the elephant in the room. Oddly enough, the subject of hooking me up with one of the dudes friends came up and that elephant came trotting towards me at 2 miles an hour. As my two female friends asked several questions about this guy because in their words, I would even think to ask these questions.  It progressed to pulling up pictures of him on Facebook. I slowly sipped my watermelon martini.

Was I that pathetic? In this particular situation, yes, I was that pathetic hopelessly single friend that everyone wanted to see happy. The friend that when they find her the perfect one they’ll boast about how it was their great matchmaking skills that is the reason that she is no longer the pathetic, dateless, hopelessly single girl that she was 4 months ago. That elephant must have been sitting right between the baby sling, to the left of the Bang-Bang Shrimp and smack dab in front of me. As I delighted in my small, but flavorful plate, it dawned on me. I’ve never brought a date to any event-NEVER!  Not a dinner, party, BBQ, wedding, nothing. It’s always just been me: RSVP: 1. By the time, I finished off my crabcake, anxiety set in. Between my mind and the elephant sitting there, I went from feeling awkward to uncomfortable. I saw a quote on Pintrest that said ‘Don’t believe everything you think’, but I couldn’t help it. My mind was consumed with thinking about how out of all my friends in Pittsburgh, I am the only one that was single. You’re 31 years old…when you go to the gynecologist, you need to ask about freezing your eggs, oh and fertility treatments.

Later that night, as my friends relished in their children playing games and napping and never touching their wallets (their beaus footed the bill), I was served with a $31.32 bill-before tip-paid for by moi.

Traveling Solo?!?!?

Work has been so draining lately. All I can think about vacation! Vacation! VACATION! It's 26 days and counting and I will be in Las Vegas. As excited as I am to be going, I am thinking about how I may not get to do what I want to do. I have been researching some places that I want to eat at, and I am not sure that my friend and her family will be down with eating there. Which brings me to this, traveling solo!

Most of my friends are booed up, married, or just don't share the same travel goals. I have been reading around and I came across one of my fellow YouTubers that actually have a blog all about traveling, most of it solo, called Sista Voyage. While reading some of her posts, and checking out the pictures, I realized 'man, that looks like the perfect vacation. Doing what you want, not having to worry about someone not eating what you like, going where you want to go'. I have told all of my friends that I am a true tourist. I love to see what is different in each destination. I can go to the club at home, but I am only in ____ to see ____ once in a lifetime.


Yes, the thought of going on vacation alone frightens me. On the other hand, I think that it would be great and exhilarating. Now there are places that I wouldn't go alone: certain parts of Africa, Mexico, certain parts of south America. But for the most part, I think that traveling alone will be a great experience. And a great way to get some stamps in my passport...which I have yet to get due to funding issues.

What do you think? Could you travel alone? Have you done it before?

What's a Single Sistah to Do?

Recently, I have been very cynical in finding and falling in love. I realize that I cannot be this way. Lately, I have been throwing myself into my work as a way of avoiding not having a man to spend time with. I am a woman with standards and I am not just willing to settle for anyone. Normally, being single wouldn't bother me, but I feel like I am at a place in my life where things are good and I want someone to share that with. There is nothing wrong with that. I am not saying that I am planning my wedding or want to marry the next man that I meet, but do want some companionship. So from today on, I will only speak and think positive things about love. I am not going to go out looking for a man or have some convluted fantise of how great we will be together. I am going to start back praying for my husband and who knows I may even write a letter to my future husband and have it delivered one year from that date and see if it actually comes true.

Stay Tuned!

What's a Single Sistah To Do?

So, I got an unexptected text message from a dude that stood me up about two weeks ago. It reads (clearing my throat):

Happy New Year! I want to apologize if I over reacted over something so small. I really felt you didn't want to be bothered and you were going just cause. I was thinking about you and I had to say this, I would like another chance for us to go out as friends. Oh this is [MB] just in case you deleted my number.

I let him wait, and honestly didn't know if I wanted to respond at all. I was contemplating for hours.

He then texts back about 8 hours later:

So I take that as a No

I play it cool becase I am over it. Honestly, I don't know what the reason was that he stood me up, but from the text that he sent to me, he obviously doesn't know why either.

Ugh! What's a single sistah to do??!?!?

What's a Single Sistah to do?

It's Friday night and instead of me being out with the dude that I was talking to, I am typing out this post as a way to vent. I finally break down, well, wait, make time to go out with this boy dude that I am talking to and what does he do??!?!?! STAND ME UP!

I talked to him on Wednesday just to confirm that we were still going out. I am a planner and I wanted to check the weather, how to wear my hair, make-up, shoes, the normal stuff. He confirmed going to happy hour at Mad Mex in Shadyside (or that area). Fine. So, yesterday, I didn't hear from him, so I text him. He texts back. I call him later, just to chit chat. Everything seems fine.

Today, I text him while on lunch for the address of the place and he gives it to me. Nothing else. I stop by CVS to pick up some make-up because I seen it on sale for 75% off. I text him to see what time we were meeting up. He says 9:15. Ok. Now from here, its confusing. He says, We can hook up another time. Just let me know ahead of time when we want to hook up. Huh!? I was so confused. I didn't understand where this was coming from. I ask if this was a bad time and he says tonight is great for me. I am the one that set it up for tonight. We can try another time. Have a good night. Ok, I never said anything about not wanting to go, so I didn't know where this was coming from. I called him and he said that he was talking to his mother, didn't answer, but text me back. Then I ask him what is really going on. He says I was going just didn't feel the vibe, maybe next time will be better. I want to kick it with you but I feel your not interested in me. What does that have to do with us going out as friends?!?!?! He says that we were going out as friends, but we can go at another time. I text him back 'If we were going as friend then what does it matter if I am interested in your or not? See, its just not making sense to me. I really wanted to go but for whatever reason, even though it's a good time for both of us you don't want to go. I was really looking forward to going. I just feel let down and that your not being completely honest with me.'

Nothing back from him; no call or text.

What is a single sistah to do?!?! I don't want to be the angry black woman, but I am upset about this. I could have made other plans or went out somewhere else. Why didn't he say this earlier. I asked him and never got an answer. Although cliche, I think that he was out with another girl.

After being stood up on a Friday night, I am sitting here eating a semi-disgusting steak sandwich and slightly underdone breaded mushrooms from Pizza Milano while watching what TLC calls: Brideday. It is bad that I am being cynical and thinking that maybe I'll never get married?!? Try to stay positive...think positive.