I'll Admit It..

...I fell asleep at the wheel.

I know that its has been a while since I have posted a Spiritual Sunday post. One of the reasons for that is because I have strayed from the path that the Lord has set for me. I was so frustrated with how I thought that my life should be going, and it wasn't, that I wanted to take things into my own hands...again. Well, during this time I had two drinks, didn't get drunk, but still had two drinks. Now to clear this up, I didn't feel that it was that big of a deal. But it was one of those things that I had to ask myself 'Why?'. Why was I doing this. As you know if you follow my blog, I don't think that there is anything wrong with having a drink of wine--as long as you are not doing it with the intentions of getting drunk.

I went out to the club. Ok, so I've been feeling this way about the club for a while. It's lost its luster to me. I went out and I was totally annoyed. I found myself wondering, once again, 'Why?' Now, I think that I have started the transition to where I think I'm too old for it. The club atmosphere just doesn't excite me anymore. Sweaty dudes, grinding on me that are slightly inebriated...I'll pass. Now, lounges with a cool, laid back atmosphere, I can do. It just makes me wonder, other than a club what other fun social activities are there for the grown  people to do? Have any ideas, please let me know.

 I reverted back to cussing on four separate occasions. I went years without cursing. Seriously, years.

Dating...and other things. Every woman has their picture perfect list of what they want their man to be. Well, I think that in this area, I started to settle. I was perfectly happy content fine with being single. But there is only so much that a woman can take. I feel like even though I prayed and have been celibate for almost two years now, the Lord still hasn't heard me or sent me my husbabd. You see everyone out there meeting their man and starting their picture perfect life, but in reality its not all that. I asked myself do I want the illusion or do I want whats real. Real Love. Real Relationship. Real Life.

I got caught up and started making rash decisions. Which brings me to this...(tires screeching) HALT! Not stop! Its an acronym for:

H(ungry)
A(ngry)
L(onley)
T(ired)

Funny how the Lord puts things in your life at just the right time. So, after all of this stuff happened, going out, drinking, dating, I tuned into TD Jakes and after he went off there was another program coming on. The man started talking about you may be in a place for a reason. Its your Gerar. He stated that you shouldn't make decisions if you are hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. All of these decisions were made when I had one of these emotions running through me. These emotions and decisions that I made threw me off my path.

So here I am driving through this valley, which is my Gerar, and I fall asleep at the wheel. As I drift off the road, I hear a voice that says HALT! Its God and he takes control of the wheel and steers me back on the path that I was supposed to be on.

Spiritual Sunday: Contentment-The Reprise

While doing all of my posts about contentment I forgot about one important part: celibacy. It has been over 2 years since I have been intimate with a man. Dang, its been that long?!?! Sigh. Let's not focus on the time periods. I was thinking and this is the perfect example of contentment. I have been on this journey and before anyone thinks that its easy, its not. It's hard. Believe me. But there are so good things that have come out of it...when I think of them I will post it (here).

Okay, enough with the jokes. I am perfectly fine with being celibate. I am so fine with it that I have joined a celibacy group that supports woman that are going to wait for marriage. Yes, I am going hard on this celibacy thing. I am thinking about getting myself a celibacy ring.

In my life there are things that have happen brought me to this point. One day,  when I open up my non-profit you will know because it will be based around/off of it. But I am doing what makes me happy and that is what contentment is all about right?!?!  Now, this has been met with some adversity. I think that some of my family members think that I am gay since that haven't seen/heard of me with a man in so long. To be honest, that hurts me because my family just doesn't understand. They think that I am the one that is weird, but actually it's how the Lord wants it to be. I am going to put my sexual life in the Lord's hands. He knows my heart, needs, and wants better than a man that just wants my flesh.

I recently discovered a GREAT blog by a truely inspiring woman named Heather Lindsey. I invite all of you to take a moment, look around, and be inspired. There are alot of articles on there, and she also has an online boutique. Click Here

Jill Scott: So Gone (What My Mind Says)

Just listen to the first minute of this video to find out the story behind the song. Crazy.



Now listen to the lyrics of the song and peep the video below.


By the way, I am really feeling Jill Scott's make-up and hair. She has beautiful skin and her weight loss is coming along nicely. I've always been a Jill Scott fan!