My First Calligraphy Class...and Other Thangs...

Hey! I just got back from my first calligraphy class. And let me tell you, it was hard. There was 4 people in the class, including myself, and I was probably in the worst in the class. I've dabbled in it, but the other students were on their A-game...like over-achievement, teachers pet, goodie two shoes. Not so much my fault; I didn't have the right pen and paper. I never knew that there was so much that went into writing calligraphy. The nibs, the paper, your hands, the placement of paper, the space in between the spaces in the letter that you make...it's an art. And anyone who tell me different is a liar! There are so many intricate parts of it and history behind it. Our instructor Karen Roberts has been the game for years and can teach anyone a thing or two about writing. This is an eight week course and the cost was $79. I am always thinking of different things to do to enhance my resume, and make for interesting conversation with strangers.

In other news, I brought a new car!! Its a 2009 Camry and the payment are affordable. My goal it to pay it off in 4 years. Oh yeah, there goes my no buy challenge for 2013. Some other things that I brought that I love: rhassoul clay, L'oreal Colour Riche Caresse Lip Stain, and anything from Traders Joe's...except those carrot-ginger bran muffins. Reviews on all this coming soon!

Ok, I need to get my organic peppermint patties out of the freezer and watch the rest of SVU. I always forget this show is on, and when I do its always the last twenty minutes of it. Until next time...

My Decision To Stop Taking The Pill...

After much debate, I have decided to stop taking birth control pills. There were several things that brought me to this conclusion and I am hoping that it was the best one for me. Nothing against my gynecologist, because he is very supportive in options to help regulate my period and other things, but I am just tired of pumping myself full of hormones that may be hindering more than helping me.



My first and foremost reason for wanting to go off of the pill is that sometime in the near future, I would love to conceive a child. My one friend once told me that being on the pill saves your eggs. I later learned that a woman is born with all of the eggs that she will have for a lifetime, so saving some or losing some really wouldn't make a difference for me. The quality of the eggs is what matters.

One thing that sticks out in my mind are some of the side effects of being on birth control for an extended period of time. I have been on birth control a total of 6 years since the age of 18yrs. Since then, I have noticed that I have had migraines! I mean, sitting in the dark, give me Excedrin, don't bother me, migraines. My mood swings are crazy. I will cry at the drop of a hat, sometimes worst than others. I've been on that roller coaster of weight gain and loss. My lowest weight in years was when I was not on birth control.

As if all of that wasn't enough, I just didn't feel like a woman. My sex drive is extremely low. I read somewhere that our hormones attract the opposite sex, and birth control blocks these hormones. The last thing that I need is to not attract my soul mate due to a tiny yellow pill! My body, as a whole, was off. Remember my posts about natural deodorant, well my body chemistry was going wacky. I am not going to stop using natural deodorant, but my birth control could have something to do with this.



Now, I know that without birth control, I have horrible periods that last for weeks at times. This is mainly due to my hormones being out of balance. To help assist with balancing my hormones naturally, and get myself back to a normal-naturally- I am going to be taking Vitex Chasteberry. Its a natural plan found in the wild that is shown to help balance hormones in woman. Its basically the equivalency of taking a vitamin. But it takes a while to show the effects of Vitex, so I will be updating in about 3 months and let you guys know if it made a difference in my periods, moods, headaches, ect. I have been tracking my periods using an IPhone app, so I have a good base of how my periods worked, or are supposed to work, while being on birth control. I will continue to use it and see if there is a pattern or if its all off.

I am working towards living a more natural lifestyle, so there will be more posts to come with my vitamin regimen, whole foods/trader Joe's food reviews, and the development of some homemade products that I have been working on.


Sources: The Daily Beast, Vitex, Facts about Vitex,

Spiritual Sunday

Over the past month, I have been focused on being more content with my life. If you have read all of my posts you might be saying, what does all of this mean? To sum it all up, I am going to be grateful for what I have, work on being a better person, and do what makes me happy. Put myself at peace with alot of things in my life. I am going to stop with the lists and beating myself with only completing 2 of the 35 things on it. Take my time with everything. I know that everything will come in due time...this is where my faith must come in at.

Being content with myself and my life will open up doors. Doors to freedom. Doors to being myself. There are so many things that I want to do. Notice, I said I want to do. Not what I think I should do, or what other people are going to do. And yes, this will sound weird to some people but for me it means putting everything in God's hands.

Have you ever seen some do something and it just looks effortlessly? I mean, I have friends that are like that; it seems like they don't even try and they get what they want. There is no struggle or confusion, it just falls into their lap. Well, that is how I want my life to be, but only I want God to be the one to put me at peace, guide me, and free me--effortlessly.

Spiritual Sunday

Alright, so after listening to Joel last week preach about Blooming Where You're Planted, brings me to my professional life. Now sure that are so many things that I wish that I could change about my job. Please just let me put it out there that I am so GRATEFUL to have a job, along with the benefits and flexibility. But I must admit that I am not completely fulfilled there. As much of a public servant that I am, there still isn't that sense of fulfillment or that I have actually done something good for someone else. The people whom I help don't really feel blessed to have what they have, they feel like they are entitled to it. Well, some of them.

This all has me thinking about starting my own business and/or non-profit. I am constantly toying with the ideas, but lately, there are parts of me that just want to take the leap and do it! And do it right here in Pittsburgh, none the less. You know, I have a friend who is constantly down-talking Pittsburgh. She has so many negative things to say about the nightlife, quality of life for African Americans, the lack of higher paying salaries, just anything and everything. It bothers me so much, I mean like nails on a chalkboard in a cave echoing, when I am talking to her because she hasn't lived here in so long that she doesn't know that things have changed, and to know that not everyone here makes $10 an hour. Sorry, went off on a tangent there.

Perhaps there is a reason for me being here. After all of the research and job searching that I have done in other states, I still have yet to get an offer out of state doing something that I feel would be uprooting my life for. Then again, maybe the Lord has sat me here in Pittsburgh to grow and then take me off on another path or place. Either way, I have decided that I am going to continue to work diligently at my job, trying to make a difference, using everything that I possibly can to make my job a better place, all while asking the Lord to guide me to start a business or non-profit, if its in his will. Contentment. Putting myself at peace with the whole moving, staying, job situation thingy.

Oh yeah, I am also going to really pray about possibly buying a house.

Relationship Guru: Whatever happened to just being friends?

Alright, so after the whole 'Just In Case: Take Care' ordeal, I am back out in the game! Well, kinda. I recently linked back up with a friend. He found me on facebook, we exchanged numbers, and have been taking ever since. Recently, he has been asking me some questions that lead me to believe that he wants a lil' more than just being friends.  Just the mention of marriage, kids, relationships makes me a uncomfortable. While texting one another, he asks me if I can possibly see a relationship with him? Do I find him attractive? Ok, let me just give ya'll the back story. We met like 15 years ago. We really don't know one another, never dated, and I haven't seen him in person in about...cricket...8 years?  I asked him where did this come from? He said that he was just curious because he can see himself being in a relationship with me. Yeah, me. Slightly-broken-and-bitter-celibate-easily scared away-with-the-mention-of-commitment-on-the-fence-about-wanting-kids-me.

I am not saying that it would never happen with him, but we haven't even hung out together to see if its something that would even happen. I'm not really sure where this all came from. I think that its funny when a guy shows that they are vulnerable just like women, and I am starting to hear about it more and more from different guys.

Whatever happened to just being friends with someone...taking things slow?

Falling In Love...

It dawned on me yesterday while doing my normal Sunday routine. I woke up just like any other Sunday and debated on whether I should go to church or not. While sitting there, I tuned to a Joel Osteen's broadcast. I'm listening to the feel good biblical teachings of Joel and I really felt good about the coming week, my personal life, and any forthcomings. I felt like all of the struggles that I have been going through lately was for a reason and victory was right around the corner. The more that Joel talked, he spoke about loving the Lord. Right then and there, like an LL Cool J song, I realized, I need love. And I am not just talking about the type of love from the opposite sex, but true, unconditional, undying love.

I've been through some things in my life and I am finally at a point in my life where I can say that most of them came because of me not loving myself. No, I am not beating myself up; I am being real. Irrational decisions with men, horrible decisions with my body, drinking and smoking (excessively), the list could go on. And although I have made progress, I need love. Not some man, not a job, not the crazy notions that pop into my head for a week then slowly fade away. My spiritual journey is one that makes me feel like I am stuck in purgatory. Like, I am cheating on the real me. I can't think of myself being totally committed to the Lord because I still love my old ways.

I need to fall in love with myself and the Lord. I love myself enough to let go of the vices that hold me down, but there is still work to be done, and I know that the Lord ain't done with me yet!